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Close your eyes. Wait, close one eye and keep reading. Picture yourself in a leather chair in a mahogany room. A waiter comes for your order, and you say, “I’ll have the tenderest, most original made with beef item or snack you have.” The waiter runs (yes, runs) to the kitchen before coming back with a silver platter of Extra Tender Original Beef Jerky. Daydreams do come true.